Detritus
This evening I packed up some of my late wife’s clothes, for donation to a clothing closet.
I am not ready, emotionally or mentally, to throw out what can’t be donated.
I look around my home and see many items given to me by my mother that have traces of emotional connection, but serve no real purpose.
I am 61, and I am feeling that it is time to consider what will happen to my belongings when I die. I don’t want to leave my cousins/nephew a pile of things they have no interest in, but I am somewhat anxious that I will discard something I will later want.
I had many cameras, and piles of negatives, in my 20s. I have no idea what I did with them. I don’t want to make the same mistake now.
Time, and thoughtful looking, will be my friends.
My beloved has a 5-year rule: If you haven’t used or worn or read something in 5 years, you probably don’t need it.
It’s the “probably” and “need” that catch me off guard every time.
One of my daughters died 20 years ago. (I can’t believe I’m even writing that sentence). I have a dress and a sweater of hers I’ve never worn even though they fit me. I don’t “need” them physically, but I “need” them emotionally. I predict that “need” will never have an expiration date.
You might begin by making a catalogue of some things, perhaps putting them in categories of physical and emotional need, with sub categories based on the age of the object and emotional association.
It’s a process. You’ve already begun. Be gentle with yourself. Take your time. There’s no right or wrong way to do this. Your family will love you no matter what.